Halloween is around the corner, so I thought I’d rant about an appropriate subject for this time of year – Ghosting.
Of course, I am not referring to scary things that go “BOO!” and haunt houses. I am speaking about the practice of deliberately ignoring and not returning one’s calls or emails.
Ghosting is one of the rudest, most unprofessional and infuriating sins one can commit in the working world. It happened to me recently with a prospective client who initially had inquired about my services about 3 weeks ago.
We had a couple of delightful telephone exchanges and they genuinely appeared to be very interested in moving forward with an arrangement. After five days of awaiting a reply to an email, I decided to re-send the message figuring my original transmission bounced back.
Three business days later, I called and left a friendly voicemail asking them to respond at their earliest convenience. Another five days lapsed and I tried emailing again, this time attaching an article I thought would be an interesting read for them. Crickets.
Three days later I actually connected and enjoyed a very pleasant conversation with my primary contact’s assistant. I extended my best wishes that everyone in their office was well as we had not heard from them since our initial conversations. This individual assured me that everyone was fine and it was a busy period to which I completely empathized.
The assistant promised that my contact will connect with me later that day or early the next. For once I felt things would finely move along. Hence, I thanked them profusely and said I eagerly looked forward to their call. Four business days passed and nary a word was received.
Needless to say I’ve now given up on pursuing them. As frustrated as I feel, it would be hypocritical of me for failing to admit that I’ve also been guilty of ghosting others in the past.
We all have people in our lives with whom we’d prefer not to interact. Some relations are business while others are personal. We notice their number when they repeatedly call so we don’t pick up. We notice their texts and emails but decide they can be answered later. That doesn’t make it right.
Knowing how crumby it feels to be left hanging is a reason why I’ve committed myself to responding to all communications in a timely manner. There is no excuse why we should not acknowledge someone when they reach out. It doesn’t involve a huge commitment of time or energy and it allows relations to grow in a productive direction.
Some useful habits to adopt when you are super busy and someone sends you a voice message or email can include:
1) If you are multi-tasking, call them briefly suggesting to re-connect within 48 hours so you can devote your undivided attention to their needs;
2) Request additional detailed information regarding the purpose of their call so you “cut to the chase” when you do re-connect with them;
3) Send a quick email or text confirming that you received their message and will touch base with them by a certain time when you are settled, and;
4) If it’s a message from a current or prospective client, attach or send a link to an article or resource they may find helpful in the interim.
Leave the ghosting to the trick-or-treaters and do what it takes to keep the conversation going. Has anyone ghosted you recently and did you finally connect with that person?
